Why Your Team’s Failures Are Your Fault
When I coach leaders on Pivotal Conversations, especially when they are hesitating to speak up and offer coaching or guidance, I continually run into an attitude that they are not responsible for the success of others, even those under their leadership. I want to make clear that if you are a leader who does not want to coach and guide others to help them succeed, you are not a leader. You may have the title, authority, and pay, but until you do the hard work of leading others and helping them succeed, you are not a leader.
We’ve all been in situations where the person who was supposed to be in charge, helping the rest of us succeed, instead used all their power and authority to protect themselves and leave the rest of us high and dry. Maybe this was a coach, a boss, a parent, or even a teacher. In 8th grade, my math teacher was nearing retirement and decided to just stop teaching our class. He would still show up every day, but just sit at his desk ignoring us for an hour until the bell sounded and we left. It’s been close to twenty years and I can still remember how that felt to be abandoned by the very person who was supposed to be helping us learn and grow.
When we are responsible for others, it is our duty to help them succeed. Ex-Navy Seal Jocko Willink describes this task as Extreme Ownership. The Other Side Academy, a therapeutic community for those with a history of criminal behavior and addiction, describes it as 200% accountability. The ultimate responsibility of the leader is to help your team succeed. If the team is not succeeding, if the people in your care are not growing and driving results, it is your job to help them succeed. If your team is not succeeding, ultimately, it is your responsibility.
This is where Pivotal Conversations come in handy. Pivotal Conversations are the tool we use when results are not being met. Pivotal Conversations are the tool to help struggling individuals find success. As leaders, it is our responsibility to be having these conversations when things are going wrong to course correct before things go off the rails. Many of us think that we are being nice when we don’t mention that a person is not pulling their weight or if they are consistently coming in lower than the bar. But in reality, all we are doing is setting them up for a greater failure down the road. I’ve seen employees be fired by a “big boss” because their immediate supervisor would not speak up about their shortcomings because they wanted to be nice. All that supervisor did was set them up for failure. I’ve also seen supervisors intervene early and help struggling people grow and succeed, adapting their style to match what that individual needed. Those individuals shocked all of us by completely eclipsing our expectations and displaying their true potential. By choosing Extreme Ownership, by choosing 200% accountability, we are truly being caring because we are intervening before the problem gets too big and we are helping them succeed. If you want to be a leader, you have great power. But just like in Spiderman, you also have a great responsibility, to help your team succeed. Choose Extreme Ownership, Choose 200% accountability, and watch your team soar!
